Days are getting more roughed up. I don't know why but I have a strange feeling of betrayal. It feels like everything around me isn't the same as I thought it was.

I am scared and I don't know why I am. It feels like everyone I know aren't familiar any more.
Even the ones I felt were my own don't seem to be mine anymore.

Last night I cried till late night. I don't know why but I felt like it. I guess everything I had once created had come down to take it's revenge upon me. I couldn't stop my tears for nearly an hour. I tried to figure out what was wrong but could not think about anything.

I felt an unknown guilt. It felt like it was crushing my lungs. I just wanted to speak to someone. But i was alone and I had no one to speak to. I hadn't had any food for the whole day. I felt extremely hungry but I didn't want to eat. It feels like the way I act is affecting my friends lives
in a negative way and I am so selfish that I am not doing anything about it even though I know what I am doing is not exactly correct and true. I know for sure that I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I don't want to be the source of pain for them. I don't want to be possessive but not being possessive is hurting me. If I am possessive it will hurt them and of all the things I don't want them to be sad.

Few years from now I didn't knew what love was. But now as I see it. It hurts. Not being able to tell someone that I want to be with them is making me miserable.

I am trapped in a room with two doors, behind each door is another room. There is exactly one person in each room and I love them very much. If I stay in the present room I die. If I move to one room the person in that room will die resulting in my death. If I move to the other room I will die and it will kill the person in the room.

Even now as I write this I am quite unsure as what to say and what to hide or what to do?

My world as I know has it's foundation shattered. My mind now is unsure as to what is right.
I am angry not on anyone else but myself.

Time is a betrayer of thought. It is what corrupts even the most serene of minds.